Thursday, August 26, 2010

I am tired...

I think motherhood has caught up to me because I am tired all the time now. I don't know if all the late night feedings are catching up or just the exhaustion from my busy baby but I am so tired. I could sleep all day and night for 2 days straight and I still think I would be exhausted. Mom, Jacob and I went on a vacation last week and that was tiring. He was such a handful and it was a long drive to Branson. It was great spending time with Mom and Jacob but now I feel the need to go on vacation to recoup from my vacation. Jacob has been going non-stop now. He is constantly moving and trying to crawl. He can almost sit up on his own which is so crazy. I can't believe my baby is growing up so fast.

I think I am going through a phase. I am constantly wanting to go out and hang with friends and have a few drinks. Maybe it because I missed out on being 21 since I was pregnant but I feel so guilty with Jacob and knowing that I have him and no matter how late I stay out, he still gets up at 5 am. It is hard being a young mom, I never knew it until now. I love him with all my heart and wouldn't trade him for the world, but it is so hard. I feel like I am letting him down by going out and having fun.

I have a lot of things going on right now and I don't want to go into details but if everyone could say a prayer for me that would be great. I am very confused and need some guidance and help.I don't know how things will turn out, but good or bad I want to know I have the support of my friends. Who knew that all these life changing events could be so difficult? Jacob is my little light that lights all the dark spaces I have right now and he is just amazing. I really hope everyone is having a good week and TGIF tomorrow, don't know if I could have made it another day. Oh Greg and I are going out of town this weekend for my best friends wedding. Should be fun, since we are going without Jacob. We shall see!!!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

The Baby Doesn't Care if Your Sick

So this isn't the first time I have felt sick since I had Jacob but I think this is the first time where I have felt so awful I didn't want to get out of bed. Before Jacob came, if I was sick, I stayed in bed, I slept and didn't really have to do too much. Now with Jacob he still gets up at 7 am to eat and still wants to be played with all day and although he has been an angel while I have felt bad, it really doesn't matter to him that I am sick. He still needs to be fed and changed. This is the first time I can honestly say that motherhood is hard. Yes sleepless night are difficult but you get used to it. This is truly hard because I am sick, I am very tired and all I want to do is lay in bed and I can't. As soon as I would close my eyes for a nap, Jacob would wake up and need a bottle. I thank God for Greg though because he came home, saw how exhausted I was and let me nap for an hour and a half. After a 9 hour day he came home and played with Jacob and cleaned the house while I slept. Hopefully I will be able to sleep tonight but I am not counting on it. I haven't slept the whole night through in a week. Jacob is sleeping through the night but I'm not.

It is going to be a long weekend. My dad is in town for a few days helping my grandparents move into their new house. Jacob has his 4 month appointment on Monday and I have a check up too! Hopefully all will go well. Sunday will hopefully be filled with a whole lot of nothing!! We are trying to find a home for our cat Shadow but I don't see that happening so we will probably take him to a shelter. It is sad but he has just become a handful and I can't care for all the cats and Jacob. All in all though it should be a good weekend. I just want to feel better and hopefully I will!!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Teeth, Work, and Formula Oh My!

Well this week Jacob got his first two teeth. They came in on the bottom and I can't believe my little baby has teeth already, and not just one, but TWO!! He is just growing up a little too fast for me. I also just put more clothes in the box of too small. That made me sad because I feel like he only wore them once. Hopefully since 12 months has a larger range they will last longer.

I have been doing a lot of research for work from home but man, it seems nowadays everything is a scam. When Greg and I talked about me going back to work, it seemed like a great idea until we found out how much it was going to cost to put Jacob in childcare. We quickly realized that I would be only be working so he could be watched. Didn't seem very logical to us so we gave up on that idea. So I figured if I could work from home I could make money and be home with him but nothing seems legit. It either costs a ton to start or you have to sell things to your friends. I know that my friends would hate me if I was down their throats about selling things so that's a no go.

We did get some government help this last week from a program called WIC, Women, Infants and Children. It gives us a card which gives a monthly balance of groceries we are allotted. It doesn't cover everything but it covers formula which costs the most and milk which is awesome. All in all I think we will be saving quite a bit of money on this program. When Jacob turned 6 months though we will no longer get milk, cheese and eggs, only formula and baby food. But we get that until he turns 1 so that is good. I only wish I had jumped on this band wagon sooner. The appointment was very quick and they took Greg's income into account and since I really don't work we got approved easily. We had physicals which might I add Jacob weighs 16 pounds and 5 ounces. He is such a big boy now!! Then we watched a movie and got our card and we were all set. I have already gone to store and it is super easy. Much easier then I had anticipated.

This month is going to be SUPER busy. This week I work Tuesday, have my Mommy Group over Wednesday, Dad coming into town Thursday and then it's my last weekend with Greg before I go out of town. Jacob, my mom and I leave the 13th for a week vacation to Branson, MO. Hopefully we will have some company up there. Then we come home and on the 28th Greg, Jacob and I have a wedding to go to in Jacksonville TX. My best friend from Middle School is getting married and I am so excited for her. So all in all it is going to be a busy month. Then the kids go back to school and I will no longer being working. Bummer!! I love my kids I take care of. It is going to fly by though I am sure.

Also I had my first social event since I gave birth to Jacob. It was a Bridal Shower for said friend getting married and it was a blast catching up with friends from school. I did leave early because I knew Jacob would be up 6 am sharp and sure enough 6:30 am he was up that next morning. Hopefully as he gets older it will be easier to leave and do girl get together with friends. I am sure it will.

I wasn't going to post any pictures but Greg took one the other day of Jacob and I, and I absolutely love it! SO here is it: