FOREVER

Sorry it has been forever. I could try to catch you up on the last 8 months but man that would take forever. So instead I will leave you with a poem because I am writing again!! YAY! It is not about anyone in particular, just what comes from my heart and mind. Hope you enjoy it!

Although we are miles apart
There is something in my heart
And I hold on to the hope
Even though it’s hard to cope
With you being gone so long
But those days make us strong
For our hearts are together
And it just can’t be severed
My love for you is so real
I know exactly how you feel
That day when we can just be us
And loving you is a just a plus

New Poem

Becoming Yours
By: Meghan

The miles between us are oh so far
But I realize how real my feelings are
That is why I keep hanging on
Because you aren’t really gone
You are just away for a little bit
And that is why I cannot quit
I am feeling something new and real
The key to my heart, you did steal
I can’t wait until we can just be us
Then we won’t need to make a fuss
Because we will be together more
And you can make my heart soar
For now I will take whatever I get
And I will remember how we met

Some more writing

An Affair Called Love
By Meghan Wheeler

Don’t get attached was our main rule, but now I’ve realized I am such a fool
There was no way to stay unconnected because our emotions became so unexpected
It started out as just a date, something where we could both relate
We needed a friend, someone to hold and share our secrets that are untold
I didn’t know how this fling would end, but even then my heart won’t mend
Affairs are made for play and fun, but just like that and they are done
So here we’ve learned an important lesson, never fall for the other person
Because when it ends forever more, your heart is hurt and your soul is sore


I just can't stop writing!! I have no clue where all this coming from but I like it so far!! Enjoy!!

Writing

Things in my life have been hectic and there are so many changes happening yet somehow I have been writing twice as much. I write about things in my life or the life of others. I wanted to share a few things I have worked on recently. None are parallel to my life just stuff out my head.

Accidental Love
By Meghan Wheeler

Falling for you is strictly forbidden
But crazy is how my heart is driven
Your every word makes me shiver
And when I think of you my lips quiver
You are everything I’ve waited for
You are all of that and even more
No one’s ever made me feel this way
I love this feeling I hope it stays
But this isn’t supposed to happen here
The more I learn it makes me fear
The consequences of falling for you
But I can’t help feeling that this is true
It’s a love that will have to wait for some time
But until that comes in my heart you’ll be mine
I can’t wait to explore life together
I just wish that I knew this was forever

First Love
By Meghan Wheeler

Time ticks slower when you aren't around
Within your arms is where I'm bound
Your smile makes my entire body melt
These are new sensations I have never felt
Being around you is all that I need
And this time I am letting my heart lead
The paths that we will take are new
But it doesn't matter if I am with you
You really aren't mine to keep
She had you first no matter how deep
My feelings are for you in my heart
I wish I had known you from the start
For now I will be happy with I get
Even if it's only for a little bit
I will treasure the time we share
Because losing you, I couldn't bear
Our time will be short and quick
I can only hope our time won't tick


Hope you enjoy these. I just have been in a really creative mood, first time in a long while. More to come I promise!!

One Year Old

In 2 very short weeks Jacob will be turning a year old and that scares the you know what out of me. When did this happen?? I mean he was just an newborn right?? WRONG!! He has been growing so fast so quickly. Everyday it is something new. Yesterday he said "Nana" to my mom and it made her cry. This week we have been weaning off the bottle and formula and he only has one a day now and is almost on the cup 100%. He is standing alone and trying to take a step but he can't keep his balance. So much is changing and I just can't even believe he is so big already!! We are planning his birthday party which won't be until May 1st because of how busy the location we want it at is. But I am okay with that because things at my house have been really busy and I could use an extra month to plan it out. Plus April is going to be a busy month. I am going to Georgia near the middle of April for a few days which I am so excited about.

My Aunt (Dad's Sister) was a professor at Georgia State and since she passed away 10 years ago they always give out a scholarship in her name. My grandmother goes EVERY year except last year and I have always wanted to go but usually I am in school or getting ready to get married, or recovering from a c-sect but not this year. This year I have nothing going on during this time and Jake is at the age I can take him with me and he will do fine on the airplane. So we are going and I am so excited. I have not seen my aunt's colleagues since I was a kid and it will be so exciting to have them all meet Jacob. My aunt was not fortunate enough to have children and so I was her pride and joy. There isn't a day that goes by I don't think of her. She was the most amazing person I have ever known. She overcame so much in her life and I only wish she was here to see me with Jacob. She would have gone nuts over him and would have probably moved down her to be closer to us. I miss her so much! I knew growing up that she would always be there to talk to when times got rough and I wish she was here now because I could definitely use her great advice. Okay I have to stop talking about her because I am crying.

So anyway April will be rather busy! I also have started my own Scentsy business which is awesome. It is a great company to be working with and it has great products. If you are interested you should contact me for more info. So April is going to be busy busy!! There is so much more going on in my life but I don't feel like getting into. Just please pray for me and Jacob and that God turns us to the right direction. Hope everyone enjoys the rest of the March!! Have a great weekend all!!

10 Months Old

Today Jacob turned 10 months old. That is so mind boggling. Not only does that mean that in two short months he will be a year old but it means I have kept him alive for a whole year. He is the sunshine of my life and the thought of him getting just a bit older, learning to walk and talk breaks my heart. Where is my little newborn that couldn't do anything for himself? Now Jake can hold his own bottle and cup, feed himself and crawls everywhere. It is the first steps into the "Mom I don't need you for this anymore, I got it" attitude and I just DON'T like it. I want him to be 110% dependent on me again. I know that won't happen and I know that he is still VERY dependent on me but it is so hard to watch him grow so fast. I mean this time last year I was still throwing up with morning sickness and I was 7 months along. I was getting ready for my first little baby shower with all my girlfriends and I was just trying to get through my days. I had a great support helping me and I tried to get out as much as I could but at this point it was still hard. I was getting ready to move to a bigger apartment and I knew I had 2 more months before Jake would arrive.

That seems so long ago. We have come so far in a year and it's hard to imagine that this is how it will be forever. Before I didn't measure things in months, I barely could measure the hours. Now I've been measuring things in months for 20 months now roughly. Since the day my test was positive in August 2009 just two months after Greg and I's wedding. Everything is months, not days or minutes. How old is Jake? When will he turn 1? When is he supposed to do this or that? It is all measured in months. He is getting so close to standing alone. THAT scares me. He can say "mom", "tickle" and "cup". I swore he said, "It's cold" the other day but I could have been hearing things. He has become such a little person. I see so much of myself in him every day. I see even more of Greg in him. It is so special to watch facial expressions and temper tantrums and know exactly where he gets them from. He is definitely a "drama king." NO IDEA WHERE HE GETS THAT FROM!! :-)

Today was a snow day AGAIN. I am getting so tired of being trapped in doors. It should warm up tomorrow and I have 101 things to do OUTside the house. It will be nice to spend the day away. We really didn't do much today. Jake and I have both had colds that last week or so. I did manage to capture a picture of Jake looking out our french doors at the snow, almost to say "hey mom, lets go play" but it was too cold. I am hoping to get back in to a routine soon because this snow just stinks. All is well otherwise and I will continue to pout that Jake is growing just too fast. I hope everyone stays warm and safe.

I will leave you with this...

Snow

For those of you who live or have lived in Texas know that snow happens once a year if that. Last year it snowed several days in a row and we had a white Christmas. Well this year's "snow" started off as awful sleet and ice Tuesday. It did not get above 20 degrees at all this week so the ice has stayed. Then last night it snowed, like 6 inches. So now on top of ice we have 6 inches of snow. It is supposed to get "warm" until tomorrow which its expected to get 30 I think. Then it is supposed to snow next week too. I have cabin fever and I know everyone else does. They have closed school all week as well as many community offices and other places or work. Greg has gone in every day this week and was actual in a car accident yesterday in his company van. It wasn't his fault but it was still pretty scary. He is okay and back to work today. He is such a trooper. So I will leave you with pictures I took. I intend to take Jake out in it some time today just not sure when.

New Year Already

Well I haven't done a good job of blogging the last two months. Maybe its because I have been sick and super busy. In December the WHOLE family except Jake, got the stomach flu. It was awful and we all had the week before Christmas. But we were all better just in time for Christmas day and enjoyed a house full at our home. We decided since it was Jake's first Christmas it was better that everyone come to our house and celebrate. It turned out pretty nicely.

Greg and I threw a New Year's party and had a bunch of friends over New Year's Eve which was way fun but super exhausting. And since then it has just been busy, busy, busy. Our lease for our house is up in March so we have started looking at out options. We would love to buy a house but we aren't sure if we qualify. Something that we are going to look into. I also received some news that I will be needing surgery in the next month. I have a large cyst on my left ovary and it has to be removed along with my left ovary. Hopefully they can do a laproscopy procedure but they may have to go in where they did my c-sect. As of now I don't have more details then that.

Greg and I have been really trying to get our relationship back on track this year. So we will see where that takes us. I am excited to try and get back to how we were before Jake. It's all a work in progress.

Other than that no news to report. Hope everyone had a safe Holiday season and a great New Year!

It's that time of the year again...

For anyone that lives in Texas you know what I am talking about... Fall! The horrid season that can never find a good temperature to stay at. Some days its hot, some days its cold, some days its both. With this "wonderful" time of year comes the dreaded runny nose and cough. My poor little Jacob has Bronchitis and I have Laryngitis. We are both sick and its 80 degrees out today. How is this possible? Well folks we live in Texas, the state I like to refer to as BIPOLAR. Texas is the only state where it can rain, snow and be sunny all in a 24 hour period. You know that its that time of year because when you go to the doctor's office, the waiting room is full and everyone has a klennex in their hands. It is simply awful and the fact that tomorrow it will be 54 degrees is disheartening. It is good though, that Thanksgiving will be cold because it should be.

Greg and I will be traveling to his families for Thanksgiving. Ah, the life of a married woman. I am sure all you married women know what I am talking about, splitting of the holiday with both families. Thanksgiving is a time where people travel far, very far to visit relatives they only see once a year and in that time they realize why they only visit them once a year. No in all honesty I am excited about visiting Greg's family. They are all so nice and none of them have really met Jacob yet. It should be exciting, as long as Jacob stays well enough.

So as the holidays approach just remember that you can't choose your family but you can choose when to leave after dinner.... hahaha.... I am just kidding!! Let us all be thankful for everything we have in our lives, even our relatives!

Happy Thanksgiving

Learning to Share My Love

After Jacob was born my whole life changed. I no longer was taking care of myself, I was taking care of another life. A helpless life who can't feed himself, change himself or move himself. My whole life was centered around caring for him. I jumped right into Motherhood without any hesitation. I have wanted to be a mommy for as long as I can remember. The day Jacob was born was the happiest moment of my life. As the months past I noticed Greg and I began to fight... a lot. More so then we had ever fought before. Instead of trying to figure out why we were fighting we ignored it and continued on with life. I have been staying home with Jacob and we have bond that is unbreakable. He is the love of my life and I couldn't imagine my life without my little monkey. Greg and I continued to fight but I didn't really care because I had Jacob. All these months I had blamed Greg, he wasn't doing this right or was pulling us apart. Never in a million years would I realize it was I who was pulling us apart. A month and a half ago I was so fed up I was ready to leave. Then I looked down at Jacob. I know what it is like not having your father there all the time and I didn't want that for him. I stopped and looked at Greg and told him that we needed to figure out problems out and quick. Over the last month I had done a lot of soul searching. I finally started thinking that maybe it wasn't Greg, it was me. But I had Jacob, I deserved the attention and love. That was my thinking anyway. It had been my thinking for 6 months.

At that point I realized it wasn't Greg. He hadn't changed at all, he was still the loving, caring man I had married 1 year and a half ago. I changed, and not for the better. I lost site of Greg, and concentrated on Jacob. Jacob had replaced Greg instead of joining our family. I didn't know how to share my love with both Jacob and Greg. I only knew how to be a mommy. I forgot how to be his wife, his partner, his friend. I put Jacob first in my life and that is where Greg should have been. Greg felt left out, he didn't have the bond with Jacob that I had. He didn't have a bond with me either. He felt that he wasn't important and jealous of Jacob. I realized I had made him feel that way and it wasn't my intention. I was ready to be a mommy but wasn't ready to share my time between being a wife and a mommy.

I have changed all my actions and Greg and I are better then ever. I made sure that when Jacob was asleep Greg felt important. I am doing all I can to include him in Jake's daily routine that I am so used to. He is number one in my life again just as he should be.

I shared my story because I wanted to let other moms out there that maybe having the same problem that it is normal. I also want moms who are pregnant to know not to forget there husbands. It is so easy to replace them with out children. We are woman and don't know any better. If you feel that you are neglecting your husband take a minute after the baby goes to sleep and have some time together with out the TV or computer. 5 minutes will go a long way. Remember that having a baby doesn't mean your marriage is over, it means you have to work a little harder to keep it together.

Fires only leave Ashes

There are so many events in our lives that shape us to be the people we are. These events that we experience change our lives forever. I have so many of those this past year. The day I got pregnant changed my life drastically forever, the day I gave birth was the happiest day of my life but there was one event in between those that I can recall so vividly and it changed the way I think about everything.

If I recall it was February 13th 2010, around 2 am. I was just under 7 months pregnant and still able to sleep comfortably. Greg and I were fast asleep in bed when we had a loud knock on our door. Greg told me to stay in bed since it was 2 am and who knows who it was. I don't listen well and got up, put my robe on and walked in the living room. There were two police officers standing at my door and my heart dropped. What could they possibly want at 2 in the morning? At this point my head went through all the worst case scenarios: Someone died, someone was in accident, I was getting arrested. They asked if Meghan Wheeler lived here and I spoke up behind Greg. They then proceeded to tell me that my "mother's" house had caught on fire and that it had burnt down. I was instructed to go pick up my "grandfather" from the neighbors and that my "mother" was on her way to the ER via ambulance. At this point I was very confused. My mother and grandmother live in the same city but they never speak so I was confused as to why my grandfather would be at the mother's house. At that point I asked about my step-father and my younger brother. The officers said there were only two people inside the house. Still very confused I closed the door and tried to rationalize what just happened. If I had been smart and thinking straight I would have asked for the address. But I wasn't think straight so I went into the bedroom to get dressed and while doing so checked my phone to see if I had any missed calls. Sure enough there were 3. One from dispatch at the fire department saying my "grandmother's" house had caught on fire and that she was headed to the ER. She then proceeded to give me the address. The other two were from my grandmother telling me where she was and that my grandfather needed to be picked up. Greg and I split up, he went to pick up Grandpa and I headed to the hospital.

On my drive there, I called my father and told him what was going on. He told me to keep him posted and he would be up first thing in the morning. I walked into the emergency and into my grandma's room. She had black ash and smoke all over her face. They were watching her because she had inhaled a lot of smoke. I asked her what happened and she proceeded to tell me. She and Grandpa both woke up about the same time to use the bathroom. This is odd because they sleep in separate rooms. After the bathroom she said she heard some popping and crackling noises. She went out into the living room to see what was going on. The smoke detectors had not gone off and there wasn't any smoke in the house. She went to the door to the garage and instead of feeling like we all learned in elementary school, she opened it right up. The flames and smoke went right over her head and the back draft began. She got Grandpa out of the house and when they walked outside an off duty firefighter was already on his way into the her house. He was driving to work and noticed the smoke and fire from the garage and called 911 and proceeded to try to get anyone who might be in there out. I sat quiet in her room trying to regroup and understand all she had told me. The fire had started in the garage but the alarms never went off. My grandmother had just watched her house, her life, all her belonging burn before her eyes. Overall she was taking it pretty well. The doctor came in and said they were going to keep her for observation to make sure she was okay. Just then, my phone rang, it was Greg. He had gotten to the house and gotten to my grandpa. He said that the house was gone, there was nothing left. I guess I thought he was over exaggerating, he does that often because I didn't really believe him that the house was gone.

I told my grandma the house was gone and she just sat in disbelief. Greg was going to take my grandpa to get some warm clothes and shoes and would be at the hospital soon. Grandma was transferred to the observation floor and shortly after Greg arrived. We decided to leave and grab some breakfast and then I wanted Greg to take me to the house. I wanted to be able to prepare my grandma for whatever was there. I didn't want her to see it, not until I knew what it was. We pulled up to the house and all I could do was cry. Greg wasn't exaggerating, the house was gone. There was nothing. You could see from the garage straight to the other side. There were some fire fighters still on the scene. They were waiting for the fire marshal to come investigate the cause. I remember the smell mostly, it was the worst smell. The concrete was buried in ash and water. It was black, as was the brick and the few wooden beams left. Grandma's car was completed gutted, all that was left was the metal frame. It was a horrific site, one that I hope to never see again. I called my mom to let her know what was going on. Even though my mom and grandma didn't get along my mom was very sympathetic and started crying on the phone. We decided it was time to return to the hospital. Now that I knew what the house was like, I could try and prepare my grandma for what was coming. I knew I didn't want to be the one that took her to the house so I decided I would leave that to my father when he got into town. I grabbed Grandma some clothes from the store and headed back to the hospital.

Once there I tried to explain to her what was left which was nothing and that for now, we were going to go to my house until Dad got into town. She agreed because she knew I was exhausted being 7 months pregnant and all and didn't put up a fight. The day went by slow and Dad arrived mid-afternoon. It was crazy trying to get every organized, like where they were going to stay, calling the insurance company, getting them clothes, all the things that we take for granted. Things settled down by the end of the weekend and grandma went back to work Monday morning. Dad stayed for a week or so to get things in order. The decision was made to not rebuild her home because there wasn't anything left and to sell the property.

All in all everything has turned out okay. My grandmother bought a beautiful home that was newer and smaller. She didn't need all that space anymore any way. There were so many memories in that house. My grandmother kept everything. These were things I grew up with and have been in every house she ever lived in. There were dolls, stuffed animals, my books from when I was a kid, every art project I ever made at her house and all sorts of things belonging to my Aunt Marie but now they are all gone, they are ash are irreplaceable. It is hard going into her new house because it doesn't have the same smell, the pictures of me from birth until graduation aren't on her walls, baby pictures of my dad and aunt aren't where they should and her millions of owls that she had all over the house are no where to be found. It doesn't smell like the antiques she had, the furniture is all new and it is so hard sometimes. I have to remember everything happens for a reason and I know that this was one of those situations. It has changed the way I feel about things. I know that living is so much more important than the things we live with. One of the amazing things that happened was the community and how the rallied to help my grandma. The doctor in the hospital came in and opened his wallet and emptied it out for her. He didn't think anything of it, he just did it. It is people like that, that remind you why we try to do good things. I didn't share this on my blog when it happened but I felt I needed to now. I will leave you with a few pictures of the fire and damage.

These were taken by a woman at the fire.

The fire was awful, they are lucky to be alive.

The next morning, the front of the house.

This was the garage on the side of the house.

The is in the middle of the house in the living area.

Writing

Not sure if any of you know but I love to write, poems mostly. I have a ton of updates but I am too lazy so instead I thought I would leave you with some poems.

I will wipe your tears and hold your hand
I will write our story in the sand
I will leave the light on all through the night
I will keep on fighting for what is right
I will cherish, honor and always love
I will treasure my gift from up above
I will never let go to our tight bond
I will yours forever and beyond
I will continue to love you every day
I will do it not caring what you say
I will always love without a fear
I will never let go to you my dear


I see your face, it makes me smile
I only wish you stayed awhile
But you’re not mine to have, to hold
Life without you is just plain cold
I hope one day you’ll understand
You marked my heart like prints in sand
You’re brilliant, beautiful and all I need
With your hand, my heart will lead
The day I met you life changed forever
I will not leave you, not now, not ever
Until the end I will always fight
As hard as I can with all my might
I look forward to that special day
When things can finally go our way
I’m incomplete without you here
I hope you know I love you dear


Neither of these are about anyone in particular and neither have titles. I hate coming up with titles. Enjoy them!

I am tired...

I think motherhood has caught up to me because I am tired all the time now. I don't know if all the late night feedings are catching up or just the exhaustion from my busy baby but I am so tired. I could sleep all day and night for 2 days straight and I still think I would be exhausted. Mom, Jacob and I went on a vacation last week and that was tiring. He was such a handful and it was a long drive to Branson. It was great spending time with Mom and Jacob but now I feel the need to go on vacation to recoup from my vacation. Jacob has been going non-stop now. He is constantly moving and trying to crawl. He can almost sit up on his own which is so crazy. I can't believe my baby is growing up so fast.

I think I am going through a phase. I am constantly wanting to go out and hang with friends and have a few drinks. Maybe it because I missed out on being 21 since I was pregnant but I feel so guilty with Jacob and knowing that I have him and no matter how late I stay out, he still gets up at 5 am. It is hard being a young mom, I never knew it until now. I love him with all my heart and wouldn't trade him for the world, but it is so hard. I feel like I am letting him down by going out and having fun.

I have a lot of things going on right now and I don't want to go into details but if everyone could say a prayer for me that would be great. I am very confused and need some guidance and help.I don't know how things will turn out, but good or bad I want to know I have the support of my friends. Who knew that all these life changing events could be so difficult? Jacob is my little light that lights all the dark spaces I have right now and he is just amazing. I really hope everyone is having a good week and TGIF tomorrow, don't know if I could have made it another day. Oh Greg and I are going out of town this weekend for my best friends wedding. Should be fun, since we are going without Jacob. We shall see!!!

The Baby Doesn't Care if Your Sick

So this isn't the first time I have felt sick since I had Jacob but I think this is the first time where I have felt so awful I didn't want to get out of bed. Before Jacob came, if I was sick, I stayed in bed, I slept and didn't really have to do too much. Now with Jacob he still gets up at 7 am to eat and still wants to be played with all day and although he has been an angel while I have felt bad, it really doesn't matter to him that I am sick. He still needs to be fed and changed. This is the first time I can honestly say that motherhood is hard. Yes sleepless night are difficult but you get used to it. This is truly hard because I am sick, I am very tired and all I want to do is lay in bed and I can't. As soon as I would close my eyes for a nap, Jacob would wake up and need a bottle. I thank God for Greg though because he came home, saw how exhausted I was and let me nap for an hour and a half. After a 9 hour day he came home and played with Jacob and cleaned the house while I slept. Hopefully I will be able to sleep tonight but I am not counting on it. I haven't slept the whole night through in a week. Jacob is sleeping through the night but I'm not.

It is going to be a long weekend. My dad is in town for a few days helping my grandparents move into their new house. Jacob has his 4 month appointment on Monday and I have a check up too! Hopefully all will go well. Sunday will hopefully be filled with a whole lot of nothing!! We are trying to find a home for our cat Shadow but I don't see that happening so we will probably take him to a shelter. It is sad but he has just become a handful and I can't care for all the cats and Jacob. All in all though it should be a good weekend. I just want to feel better and hopefully I will!!

Teeth, Work, and Formula Oh My!

Well this week Jacob got his first two teeth. They came in on the bottom and I can't believe my little baby has teeth already, and not just one, but TWO!! He is just growing up a little too fast for me. I also just put more clothes in the box of too small. That made me sad because I feel like he only wore them once. Hopefully since 12 months has a larger range they will last longer.

I have been doing a lot of research for work from home but man, it seems nowadays everything is a scam. When Greg and I talked about me going back to work, it seemed like a great idea until we found out how much it was going to cost to put Jacob in childcare. We quickly realized that I would be only be working so he could be watched. Didn't seem very logical to us so we gave up on that idea. So I figured if I could work from home I could make money and be home with him but nothing seems legit. It either costs a ton to start or you have to sell things to your friends. I know that my friends would hate me if I was down their throats about selling things so that's a no go.

We did get some government help this last week from a program called WIC, Women, Infants and Children. It gives us a card which gives a monthly balance of groceries we are allotted. It doesn't cover everything but it covers formula which costs the most and milk which is awesome. All in all I think we will be saving quite a bit of money on this program. When Jacob turned 6 months though we will no longer get milk, cheese and eggs, only formula and baby food. But we get that until he turns 1 so that is good. I only wish I had jumped on this band wagon sooner. The appointment was very quick and they took Greg's income into account and since I really don't work we got approved easily. We had physicals which might I add Jacob weighs 16 pounds and 5 ounces. He is such a big boy now!! Then we watched a movie and got our card and we were all set. I have already gone to store and it is super easy. Much easier then I had anticipated.

This month is going to be SUPER busy. This week I work Tuesday, have my Mommy Group over Wednesday, Dad coming into town Thursday and then it's my last weekend with Greg before I go out of town. Jacob, my mom and I leave the 13th for a week vacation to Branson, MO. Hopefully we will have some company up there. Then we come home and on the 28th Greg, Jacob and I have a wedding to go to in Jacksonville TX. My best friend from Middle School is getting married and I am so excited for her. So all in all it is going to be a busy month. Then the kids go back to school and I will no longer being working. Bummer!! I love my kids I take care of. It is going to fly by though I am sure.

Also I had my first social event since I gave birth to Jacob. It was a Bridal Shower for said friend getting married and it was a blast catching up with friends from school. I did leave early because I knew Jacob would be up 6 am sharp and sure enough 6:30 am he was up that next morning. Hopefully as he gets older it will be easier to leave and do girl get together with friends. I am sure it will.

I wasn't going to post any pictures but Greg took one the other day of Jacob and I, and I absolutely love it! SO here is it:

Staying at Home

So I love the 5 days a week I get to spend with Jacob all by myself while Greg works. I am happy that I am able to that. Greg is such a hard worker and is happy that he can provide us enough to get by so I can stay home. But I have to admit that my favorite days are Sunday and Monday. Those are the days that we 3 get to spend together because they are Greg's days off.

We get to go to the pool and swim, or we can lounge in our PJs all day long and watch cartoons. The only thing that really needs to get done on these days are Greg's work laundry and any work things he may have to do while home. Those both don't take to long. It also means more time to lay in bed and snuggle before Jacob wakes up.

I do however wish Greg could have the opportunity that I get during the week with Jacob. We have so much fun playing and swimming and visiting Nana. I love having the option of not knowing what the day will bring. At least on Sundays and Mondays Greg gets to be a part of our little world of staying at home. And boy have they become so cute together.

Size What??

Well I don't know what to do about my little... eh big baby. He is 14 weeks old, 3 months and I just bought him size 12 months. Not for the future, for him to wear now! AHHHH! Where did my baby go? I can't believe he is getting so big so fast. He is 15 lbs and is 26 inches long. He is so long so none of his clothes fit. When he was born he wore 3 months, then moved to 6 months and pretty much skipped over size 9 months. I have a ton of clothes with tags on them that he hasn't and won't touch. It's awful. Luckily Carter's was having a HUGE sale and got a ton of outfits for $2 and $3 a piece. Which is great since he doesn't seem to stay in them very long.

In other news, he is sleeping through the night again, still teething but he got over this awful cold. Last night he slept 12 hours!! Oh my goodness, 12 hours is a long time. I will tell you I definitely enjoyed the sleep. Too bad it can't be like that every night.

Greg and I are doing well. Just enjoying our little family. Greg gets so excited when he comes home now. He can make Jacob laugh so hard, harder then I can. I think he prides himself in that. Jacob is starting to look like Greg too. That makes me happy.

My mom had her birthday last weekend and we made sure it was super special. My step-dad was out of town so I made sure she spent it with us. We had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and then came back to the apartment where she loved all over Jacob. He loves his Nana so much. They are so cute together. She is now an official senior citizen, 55 years old. She wears it well and I hope she stays around for another 20 or 30 years. I think that is my biggest fear is that she won't be around to see Jacob do things. It's scary, even though I had him young, she had me when she was older. I try to take as many pictures of them together as she will let me. I want to make sure that Jacob will always know who is Nana is, just in case she isn't here. I just wish she would let me take more pictures. She enjoys every minute she gets with him. She comes and visits at least once a week and we go see her once or twice a week. She can't go a few days without seeing him and that makes me so happy!!

I love my little family!

Mobile Baby

When I went into Jacob's room this morning to feed him I noticed he was crawling, but he was asleep. So I suppose you can say he was sleep crawling. I think that means he is going to be crawling soon. It's in his sub conscience I think, so now if he can only remember how to crawl when he's awake I will have a mobile baby! As much as that makes me excited at the same time I want my little baby to stop growing so quickly. I feel like he is just growing by leaps and bounds. He will 3 months old on Friday and I can't believe it. He is just getting so big so quick. If anyone had told me this I would have taken more pictures, not that I need to. I take a million a week.

In other news, I can't believe it's July already! Wow where did the time go?? I have taken on a craft project. I am making a toy box with a bench for Jacob. Since he has become mobile in his crib, his stuff animals need a new home so I thought this was a perfect way to occupy my time. I will upload pictures when I am done. Other then that I am enjoying my summer with my baby. Greg and I are doing so great as well. Thing are just dandy right now. Hope everyone had a great 4th of July. This weekend in my mom's birthday and since my step dad is out of town we are going to have her over for a birthday dinner. Other then that not a lot going on!!

A Working Mama

This is the third summer working for my good friend. I love taking care her kids and they are like family. I love them so much and they love Jacob. So far the summer has been pretty easy because she works from home and hasn't needed me too much. It's nice because I can take Jacob when she does need me. They love helping me with Jacob and learning how to feed and change him. I guess they are one of the many reasons I wanted to be a mommy. The sad thing is that I only am taking care of them through the summer. When they go back to school I am not quite sure what I am going to do. I need to work, I just do but I don't want to leave Jacob, I am so attached. I know that my mom would take care of him while I worked. That isn't the issue. She is supportive of me and what I want to do. She is the best grandma in the world and loves Jacob so much. I know she would take great care of him but that is time that I won't be there. Time that only happens once and I don't know how I could do that. Maybe I could get lucky enough to find a job like my current one where I can take Jacob too. We shall see what the end of the summer holds for me. But I know that if I worked it would be difficult but many woman have done it for years so I could figure it out.

Lots of Catching Up to Do!!

Last time I wrote I was still pregnant. Very pregnant. I was miserable and so ready to be done. Around 38 weeks I got my wish. I went into labor, I didn't know I was in labor but low and behold I was. Jacob was born via C-Section April 9th 2010. He weighed 8 lbs 15 oz and was 20.5 inches long. He was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. Unfortunately I didn't get to see him for too long. He went into distress as soon as they opened me up and when he was lifted out of my belly he didn't cry, couldn't breathe and turned blue. They rushed him to NICU and that is where he stayed for the first 9 hours of his life. I wasn't able to hold him, I saw him only for a brief moment and then he was taken away from me. I was moved to my room on the 3rd floor while my little baby, who had lived inside me for 9 months was on the 2nd floor and I was unable to go down and see him. Finally after 9 hours of waiting I was finally able to hold him. I cried my eyes out and it was the happiest moment of my life.

We stayed in the hospital for a few days and he was in and out of NICU for feeding problems. Then we were finally able to go home. I was very sore from having the surgery but Greg stayed home with me for a week which helped a lot. I fit right into the "mommy" role. Everything was going great. He is so incredibly cute. Then unfortunately around 4 weeks old, he started projectile vomiting and was not able to eat. Greg had a condition when he was born called Pyloric Stenosis which is where the stomach muscle closing and food can not pass through. It can be genetic so when Jacob started showing signs I knew exactly what was going on. I went to the Pediatrician and told her what it was. She was very surprised that I knew what I was talking about. She did an examination and told me she was calling the Pediatric Surgeon. Unfortunately the only way to correct the problem was with surgery. We were sent directly to Children's Medical Center in Dallas and were admitted immediately. They did an ultrasound and sure enough his muscle was completely closed up. We then just had to wait for the surgeon to perform the operation. It must have just been our luck because some children in critical condition came in and they were put ahead of us. It was the worst 24 hours of my life. Jacob was so hungry and we weren't able to feed him. But he toughed it out and first thing the next morning he had his surgery. It was so hard leaving him but I knew that he had to have this in order to pretty much live. We went home a day later and since then he has been eating as much as possible.

We had several weeks of Colic which was awful but I think we through that now. Jacob is just growing so quickly. He has gained a ton of weight and is close to 14 lbs. He is 26 inches long and is 2 weeks away from being 3 months old. He can hold up his head when laying on his tummy and is trying to scoot around on the floor. It's quite funny because he gets so angry when he tries and tries but doesn't go any where. He is my little light of sunshine and I am so in love with him. He makes me so incredibly happy. I think that deep down inside I was meant to be a mommy. That was my purpose in life, to be Jacob's mommy. I can't imagine my life without him. Greg and I are doing well and have settled into parenthood quite nicely. My mother has settled into "grandma-hood" as well. We are just a happy little family.

I promise to keep up more now that I have a bit more time on my hands. I will keep up with milestones as Jacob starts to crawl and sit up and soon walk. He is just my bright little star and I love him so much. Of course who couldn't love a face like this?