After Jacob was born my whole life changed. I no longer was taking care of myself, I was taking care of another life. A helpless life who can't feed himself, change himself or move himself. My whole life was centered around caring for him. I jumped right into Motherhood without any hesitation. I have wanted to be a mommy for as long as I can remember. The day Jacob was born was the happiest moment of my life. As the months past I noticed Greg and I began to fight... a lot. More so then we had ever fought before. Instead of trying to figure out why we were fighting we ignored it and continued on with life. I have been staying home with Jacob and we have bond that is unbreakable. He is the love of my life and I couldn't imagine my life without my little monkey. Greg and I continued to fight but I didn't really care because I had Jacob. All these months I had blamed Greg, he wasn't doing this right or was pulling us apart. Never in a million years would I realize it was I who was pulling us apart. A month and a half ago I was so fed up I was ready to leave. Then I looked down at Jacob. I know what it is like not having your father there all the time and I didn't want that for him. I stopped and looked at Greg and told him that we needed to figure out problems out and quick. Over the last month I had done a lot of soul searching. I finally started thinking that maybe it wasn't Greg, it was me. But I had Jacob, I deserved the attention and love. That was my thinking anyway. It had been my thinking for 6 months.
At that point I realized it wasn't Greg. He hadn't changed at all, he was still the loving, caring man I had married 1 year and a half ago. I changed, and not for the better. I lost site of Greg, and concentrated on Jacob. Jacob had replaced Greg instead of joining our family. I didn't know how to share my love with both Jacob and Greg. I only knew how to be a mommy. I forgot how to be his wife, his partner, his friend. I put Jacob first in my life and that is where Greg should have been. Greg felt left out, he didn't have the bond with Jacob that I had. He didn't have a bond with me either. He felt that he wasn't important and jealous of Jacob. I realized I had made him feel that way and it wasn't my intention. I was ready to be a mommy but wasn't ready to share my time between being a wife and a mommy.
I have changed all my actions and Greg and I are better then ever. I made sure that when Jacob was asleep Greg felt important. I am doing all I can to include him in Jake's daily routine that I am so used to. He is number one in my life again just as he should be.
I shared my story because I wanted to let other moms out there that maybe having the same problem that it is normal. I also want moms who are pregnant to know not to forget there husbands. It is so easy to replace them with out children. We are woman and don't know any better. If you feel that you are neglecting your husband take a minute after the baby goes to sleep and have some time together with out the TV or computer. 5 minutes will go a long way. Remember that having a baby doesn't mean your marriage is over, it means you have to work a little harder to keep it together.
No comments:
Post a Comment