22 Weeks, Over Halfway There

So as Christmas approaches I thought I would update everyone. I hit my second trimester and finally stopped getting sick. But not before I was hospitalized for a kidney stone and dehydration. Why on earth would my child be easy? At 18 weeks we went in for our gender ultrasound... to much dismay it seems that my child who again isn't easy, decides that we aren't allowed to find out the gender. So now it might be a boy, but not to get anything yet. Great so now we won't know until January in hopes that my child will cooperate and we can know for sure. If it is a boy we will name him Jacob. He is starting to kick and some days I think he is practices soccer or football.

Other then that, I am looking forward to Christmas. My dad will be here the day after and then my birthday is the 27th. I really can't wait for this year to be over though so I can start a new beginning in 2010. Greg's job is going great although right now we are suffering from bad colds. Hopefully we can kick it out before next week. Other then that just lots of stuff to do between now and then.

Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

10 Weeks and Counting

It's been a little while since I posted last. That would be because I have been quite sick. I went to ER around 3 weeks ago for dehydration caused from the joys of morning sickness. Turns out it wasn't "just" morning sickness, it is actually a condition that happens in 1% of pregnancies. Of course it only happens in 1% and I am fortunate enough to be in that one percentile. So it makes my morning sickness 8 billion times worse then normal pregnancies. YAY ME!! Once we were able to find a medication that stopped the morning sickness, I was able to eat again. In two weeks I lost 15 lbs. Not exactly what I wanted to do when I got pregnant but at least I won't be over weight after the baby gets here.

So now that I am no longer throwing up at the site of food, I am very exhausted all the time. But I guess you trade the lesser of two evils. I am however going to first prenatal appointment on Monday which is exciting. Greg gets to come which is awesome and we get our very first ultrasound. Greg is super excited and he wants to be a daddy so badly. He really wants to baby to be a girl so we will see!! Other then that, I have been helping my mom out when I haven't been sick and staying in bed when I am. I will update next week after my appointment. Have a fantastic Friday and a good weekend!!

7 Weeks Already?

Someone told me I needed to update about the baby progress so I thought I would. I am 7 weeks today and my symptoms have been all over the place. It has been a rollercoaster and poor Greg doesn't know what I am going to say next. I am trying my hardest not to be an emotional wreck but sometimes I can't control it. According to my awesome books, the baby is the size of a blueberry. We have picked out names but we are keeping them quiet for now. Greg is really hoping for a girl. I am easy either way but I had a dream last night it was a boy so who knows. I definately know it isn't twins. We had a sonogram last Friday in the ER (I will get to why we were there in a sec) and the tech said there was definately only one.

Now on to what happened that landed me in the ER. Last Friday was a pretty scary night. Greg and I were in a pretty nasty car accident. We were in traffic on a side street over here. Everyone started to move and then slammed on the breaks and we couldn't fast enough. Greg ended up rear-ending the guy in front of us.... in my car.... only going 25 MPH.... into a truck or rather under. We pulled into the parking lot and the guys bumper was scrated and dented. My car on the other hand needed $7,000 worth of repairs not including labor. IThen we found out we didn't have rental car coverage (OH BOY!!). But back to the ER, I was leaning forward trying to reach my purse when we hit and my seatbelt tightened around my stomach pretty hard. I didn't want an ambulance and I thought I was ok but by the time we made it home I was cramping pretty badly so Greg took me to ER.

We got right in which is a first for the hospital we went to and they had me in a room in the ER pretty quick. It took forever fo rthem to find a vein so they could start an IV. It was like 35 mins or so. I have the bruises of the several spots they tried to no avail. Finally they found on and sent me to pee in a cup which was hard since I had just gone. But man you can't imagine what a catheter scare can do. I went so easily when she said if I couldn't giver her any, she would have to go in and get it. I was like, "Nope, I am good thanks!" By this time I was hurting pretty badly. They took me back for a sono and Greg got to come. We got to see the sac that the baby will grow in which was cool. Then she was poking at my ovaries and my left one hurt like crazy. I have a cyst which is what was bothering me. But from the sono there was no damage to my uterus or baby or anything. Went back to room and waited for the doctor. He came said everything looked great and that I do have a cyst and that the seatbelt probably hit it and made it mad. But my chances of miscarry were super low and that I was very healthy.

So now I am doing well minus the morning sickness at night and some other not so pleasent symptoms. Greg and I are super excited and I will update in a week or so. I get my car back Wednesday and will have freedom again. Hope everyone has a safe and fun Labor Day. Best wishes to all and love to friends and family.

I 'm gonna be a mama

That's right everyone heard that correctly. I am going to be a mama. I have a wonderful little alien growing inside my belly. I am having all sorts of crazy symptoms but its ok because in the end it will be all worth it. I will keep you updated as I go to my first dr appt and so on. Greg is ecstatic to become a daddy!

In other news, Greg got the job and has started working already. He is so excited and can not wait to get up every morning to go. I have continued to look for a job but so far no luck. Oh well, there is something out there for me, I just haven't found it yet.

This is going to be a small, short post but I did want to say that my parents both mom, dad, step-dad and step-mom are thrilled they are going to be grandparents. My grandma cannot wait to be a great-grandma and Greg's dad was so excited. This baby will have the best most spoiling family in the world.

Hope everyone has a great week!!

Jobs Where Are You? Come Find Me Please!!

Still no signs of jobs for either of us. Good news is Greg can collect unemployment so at this point out of the two of us I would rather be the one to get a job. At least then we would have 2 incomes and his will last until next July which is good.

We are however incredibly depressed and at an all time low emotionally but at an all time high of our relationship. We have for so long lived on so little, that living on nothing isn't much different. I hear people complaining about their jobs that get them $40,000 a year. I would kill to make them. I don't know what I would do! I would feel like I was rich!! I don't understand why I feel this way but I do. If I made that and Greg made that we would be out of debt and living quite comfortably. But nope we are used to making a combined income of $25,000 or less so I suppose no money isn't much different.

We are getting things done around the house and are thinking of putting together a list of things we might be able to sell. I have a right he gave me that I don't wear anymore and he is thinking about selling his watch. I have also flirted with idea of selling my wedding dress. I don't want to but if it pays rent this month I will. I also might sell my coach purses but not sure yet! Is it something I want to do, no but it will take care of my family and that is what matters to me.

Please keep is both in you prayers. I will keep you updated on things going on. Thanks! Encouraging word are welcomed!

What Doesn't Kill Us Just Makes Us Stronger

The statement above is so true to my life right now. Greg and I have had the worst last few months since our wedding but then 2 weeks everything has been so wonderful between us. We just seem to be more understanding of each other. Everything seems so good right now. Even with the loss of my job 2 weeks ago and now Greg's 2 days ago I just have a feeling that everything is going to be okay. As long as we are together I don't care what happens. Things aren't better with certain areas but those things and people don't run our lives and who we are as a married couple. We are making more decisions together and trusting more in each other. I think that certain area's are just gonna suck sometimes and that is something we can't help, like jobs, finances, family and friends. Do I sometimes wish that there were things that could be changed? Of course, any normal human would but that isn't how God intended us to live. At this point we have to trust in Him. Tuesday when Greg came home after getting laid off, 2 hours later a company called for him to interview today. That had to be God, there was not way anyone could have timed that more perfectly. I feel so blessed and fortunate to be with such a fantastic man who cares so much about me and to make sure I am always taken care of, even if he has to sacrifice something for himself to do it.

In other news, we are getting things better done up around our apartment including some great curtains I made and replaced the horrible vertical blinds with. I have a lot of married friends who are pregnant and I want to congradulate them. I just wanted to sort of updated everyone on all things Meg and Greg. My grandma who has a staph infection is doing so much better. My wonderful husband is getting over a strep infection in his colon but is doing so much better. And other than that we are just enjoying our time together. Hope everyone has a wonderful rest of your week and stay safe through the weekend! Maybe I will make new curtains for our bedroom LOL!!

Wedding Re-Do

So we have decided that we hated everything about our wedding because (a) it wasn't our wedding, it turned out to be what everyone else wanted and (b) because things just don't seem like we are married because of it. So we are going to renew our vows on our anniversary this year in South Padre because that is what WE wanted. It sucks going through the time, the energy, the stress, the money and realizing that it was nothing like what we really wanted. We did it for his family so they could be there,his grandparents didn't even stay more then 40 minutes into the reception. There weren't enough pictures of us together because everyone was bitching that they were hungry and wanted to eat. No one was excited, no one smiled unless the camera was on them, my MOH wasn't even happy to be there. It just was not what I pictured. I pictured the beach, the sunset, a party, a cruise around the golf, the water, anything but what it turned out to be. I barely remember it and the pictures don't help because there are more pictures of everyone else then us!! Why did I let people talk us into a wedding we weren't happy with? So this time, no one will be there, just some guy on the street as a witness or whatever and then we will stay there with no phones, no computers, just us!! I better start planning!!



EDIT: So my friend on myspace made a good point! We should make sure to have a good photographer so that they can get more pictures of us and less of everyone else! They can be our witness, except since we re already married I don't think we need a witness!! But you get the point! Sorry if this pissed anyone off. Sucks that I can't express my true feelings without it causing another war! People will have to get over it! In other news, I am so flipping excited!!!!

Clearer Head

So after the initial shock of a negative response, I cried, snuggled with my husband and talked out our baby plan. I think that we are going to continue to use birth control for now at least. Especially with all the comments, like "Why do you want to be pregnant at your age?" and "Congrats you didn't want a baby anyway right?" I don't think anyone realized the multitude of hurt that those comments brought. I understand why a baby would entail, I know that its expensive and stressful but more anything I have always wanted to be a mom! I know that it will put a strain on Greg and I's relationship but I think if we are going have a baby it shouldn't mess our relationship up! If our relationship can't survive a baby then we shouldn't have gotten married. I have never seen Greg glow as much as he did when he thought he was going to be a dad. At this point if we have a baby, we have a baby! We would never abort or adopt so what's the problem. If God thinks we are ready then we will have one. It is no one business to say or give "advice" about something that have no say in!

I am sick and tired of people budding in! Everyone wanted a say in our wedding and when I walked down the aisle it didn't feel like my wedding at all. I compromised so much for everyone else that it became about them and not me. If Greg and I decide to try to get pregnant no one should give us "advice" against, no one should tell us what to do, because they aren't the ones who will be having the baby, we are! I have enough advice this week!

So now that I have gotten my rant out in other news, lots of work, lots kids and lots of sun! I am doing much better sick wise! Probably some hormonal thing, you know us woman!! Other than that just spending tons of time with Greg and enjoying working again!! Last night we went out with his mom and had drinks at Charlie's! She was a little lit and we had a blast dancing!! So things with her are finally looking up!! She really seems to be trying which is great because I want to be close to her!! I want her to be there for me when I need a motherly opinion!! Hope everyone has a great weekend and week!!

Not Pregnant

So I feel like I can't breathe. I feel like something was just taken away from me. Its the worst feeling in the world. After the anticipation Greg and I finally decided that it would be okay if we were. The excitement built and the baby talk made it real that we were ok with whatever happened. Now its over.... all over. Just a "sorry but it came back negative, you aren't pregnant!" I feel so depressed!

Out of body experience?

Ever had one of those? You know where something is happening to you and you are apart of it but at the same time you are in such disbelief that it doesn't seem like its happening to you, like you are watching it happen to someone? Well I had one of those this week. I never in 6 years ever thought I took a certain person for granted but as of Monday she called our friendship quits. Apparently I am too self centered to be her friend. There is much more to this story but I would really rather skip the details. She flipped out about something that wasn't my fault but she didn't know the person whose fault it really was so it was easier to blame it on me. Silly but I am now the kind of person that will ALWAYS take responsibility if I am to blame. Even Monday I took the blame knowing it was completely out of my hands. She criticized me and said some horrible things about the life I have chosen, ie. being married, and that hurt me to the core. I am doing the very best I can and I chose to be a wife. I can not imagine doing things any differently, except running away to Vegas for the wedding, but I wouldn't change the fact I am married. I am truly, honestly 100% happy with Greg and with being his wife. Financially we are going through so trouble but right now who isn't? I just don't understand what made her lash out at me? I have never seen her say such horrible things to anyone. I just sat there and let it happen because I didn't realize what was going on until it was over. This is the second friend from high school that I have had a falling out with in the last 7 months and I just don't get it! Is it me? I am ruining my friendships but skipping some steps and moving quicker then they? Or I am really truly self centered as she said? These are all questions I must think through!

In other news, I am almost certain I am pregnant! It has truly been a rough week and at first thoughts of it, I was scared out of my mind. Now I am so excited that I can't possible wait to find out! I have till the 24th before I can know official and that seems like an eternity doesn't it? Greg at first was scared, he kept asking, am I going to be a good father, can I provide for my family? And I just told him that all will fall into place. If I am then we will be great parents and if I am not then we will keep living life to the fullest without a baby. Personally, I really want this baby to be here. I want to be a mom so bad that I can hardly stand it. I didn't think I would want kids so soon after marriage, I thought I would want to wait a couple years but I want a family. I want to go through 9 months of hell and at the same time the most fantastic experience of my life. I almost want to keep trying if I am not pregnant now! I must be crazy, but I am so emotional about it I don't know what to expect right now. All I know is I am ready or at least I think I am ready!

I hope that summer is a sweet and romantic one. My first one as his wife. I am loving my job taking care of the best kids in the world and I imagine the summer will speed by with them keeping me busy!! Bon Voyage

It's positive after only a month of marriage....

Don't worry I am not pregnant.... at least I don't think I am!! I have a job for the month of June. I know it isn't exactly what I wanted but I can take what I can get as far as a paycheck for now. Besides its pretty easy and I think it will buy the economy some time to turn around but I won't keep my fingers crossed. In other news, my dearest friend from high school Rachael will be here in August to visit which I am most pleased about. I miss her so much. I haven't seen her since graduation which was forever ago. She will be here for a week which isn't really long enough in my eyes but I can't have it my way every time. Hopefully I will be a full time working woman by then... but it seems I can't make those kind of promises.

Greg and I are doing the best we ever have. We are spending so much time together and things that weren't so great in our relationship have taken a turn for the best. I am loving every minute of it. Just because we decided to get married didn't mean we were where I wanted our relationship to be. Now we have far exceeded my expectations. Its really fantastic. I don't know what has changed. We have weeded out some negative people in our lives which has helped out a whole bunch. We concentrate more on us and not so much on us fighting everyone else. I think that finally after being married for a month, I have my epiphany. I finally feel married and like Mrs. Wheeler. All my new credit cards came in with my new name. Everything has been changed and I am loving it.

As long as things go this well for a while I think we can conquer anything and everything that comes our way. We will just take it one day at a time. Other than that, my cats are going to drive me insane one day but I guess that is their jobs! I love being a mom to 3 four legged feline children!! Its fantastic. Lets keep them felines and not real kids ok?

Work Work Where are you?

Man so this whole not having a job thing is really starting to get to me. I had to go have my nails soaked off because we can't afford them. How bad is that? I am also using the last bit of my collage savings from my grandma to pay rent this month. Not good at all. I have sent out probably 500+ resumes over the last 2 months but I have not had any calls. THIS IS RIDICULOUS!! Obama needs to step up his game and try to get the economy up and going again. Not to mention prices are rising again. Woopi! I am so tired of sitting around my house being a house wife. That is not why I am here. I need a challenge, I need excitement, I need a job!! Figuring out when the cats are going to eat next is not my idea of a challenge and doing laundry is not my idea of excitement. So that is my rant for the day. On the plus side, Greg and I made a pretty penny watching Lacie and Drew all weekend but it did teach us we aren't ready for kids, not for awhile!

Parenting 101

So today has been one interesting day. We are babysitting some awesome kiddos today! They were in our wedding and we are really close to them! Anyway it has been a lesson for Greg and I. I was their nanny last summer so I was with them pretty much everyday. I know how to deal with their brotherly sisterly "love" and know the ways to keep it under control. Greg on the other hand has not dealt with many children and is still having issues with putting their needs first. Its tough because we know we aren't ready for kids. We are too selfish and we know it. But some events came up that made it hard for their mom to get here so we are now keeping them a little longer than expected. We took them to dinner and now they are watching Alvin and the Chipmunks, laying on a blow up mattress in our living room.

Kids are funny! This weekend I have somehow convinced Greg that we only want one child thanks to Lacie and Drew and their constant fighting. I have always wanted one but he wanted two. After today he has no complaints about only having one. I have to agree with him! But it has been interesting. Hopefully their mom will be here tonight! If not they will get waffles in the morning and they will see her then. Its funny how I am taking things from other parents on how I will be a mom! I can't wait to be a mom. It will be the most difficult thing I have ever done but that is what it is all about I guess!! Anyway Greg and I will continue to learn and one day in the future, not to near but future, we will become parents and it will be the best thing in the world! I can't wait!!

Where's my Epiphany???

I am married. I am married. Which means there are many jobs that come with it. I have to make sure that my husband knows how much money we have. I need to know what our weekend schedules are. I have to make sure the bills are paid and we budget enough. I need to make sure he knows where he is going. I need to motivate him everyday to get up and go to work. I love him unconditionally no matter what stupid thing he may do. I am always there to pick up the pieces. And the most important, I have to be nice to his mother whether I like her or not.

I have only been married for a few short weeks and I have many wifely things I have had to deal with. It's interesting to me how much has changed since our wedding. Before Greg had to take care of himself. I couldn't call the hospital for him and get payment options set up. He would call the doctor for himself and make the appointments on his own. But yesterday I called the hospital to set up payment plans for Greg's visit. The woman asked if I was his wife and I said yes ma'am. She allowed me to set it up without him at all. It was crazy.

So things have changed but I still don't feel married. At least until the mail came today. I received my new Social Security Card. It said, "Meghan Catherine Wheeler." Wow, I really am Mrs. Wheeler now. I love it, I really do but there was no big epiphany. Nothing feels different. Maybe it was because we have lived together for so long. Maybe theoretically we have been married for quite sometime now. Who knows why? But I do know even though I don't feel different, I have taken on more responsibility. I can do things that I was unable to do before which could be good or bad.

I only wish that I could have that one moment where I am jolted back into reality and realize I am married to the greatest person in the world. Maybe it isn't a feeling, or an emotion. Its a state of mind. I don't know. I do know that I couldn't be happier, epiphany or not.