I think motherhood has caught up to me because I am tired all the time now. I don't know if all the late night feedings are catching up or just the exhaustion from my busy baby but I am so tired. I could sleep all day and night for 2 days straight and I still think I would be exhausted. Mom, Jacob and I went on a vacation last week and that was tiring. He was such a handful and it was a long drive to Branson. It was great spending time with Mom and Jacob but now I feel the need to go on vacation to recoup from my vacation. Jacob has been going non-stop now. He is constantly moving and trying to crawl. He can almost sit up on his own which is so crazy. I can't believe my baby is growing up so fast.
I think I am going through a phase. I am constantly wanting to go out and hang with friends and have a few drinks. Maybe it because I missed out on being 21 since I was pregnant but I feel so guilty with Jacob and knowing that I have him and no matter how late I stay out, he still gets up at 5 am. It is hard being a young mom, I never knew it until now. I love him with all my heart and wouldn't trade him for the world, but it is so hard. I feel like I am letting him down by going out and having fun.
I have a lot of things going on right now and I don't want to go into details but if everyone could say a prayer for me that would be great. I am very confused and need some guidance and help.I don't know how things will turn out, but good or bad I want to know I have the support of my friends. Who knew that all these life changing events could be so difficult? Jacob is my little light that lights all the dark spaces I have right now and he is just amazing. I really hope everyone is having a good week and TGIF tomorrow, don't know if I could have made it another day. Oh Greg and I are going out of town this weekend for my best friends wedding. Should be fun, since we are going without Jacob. We shall see!!!
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